Slice Of My Life - August

A jam packed month with celebrations, motherhood milestones and lots of exploring with Evan. August really felt like the whole of summer squashed into one month.

My ‘mom’ era

I think i’ve finally got the hang of this motherhood thing! Well I say ‘got the hang of’ more so accepting that my life has changed. Accepting that things won’t be the same as before, and that’s okay. No longer wishing for my ‘pre baby body’ to be back because i’m at peace that I’m not that person anymore. Why would I wish to go back in time, to a time without Evan anyway!?

Becoming a mother i’ve grown and changed in many ways and in that process so has my body. I need to stop comparing my life ‘before Evan’ because I will never be content otherwise. I can't go back in time and I want to focus on embracing the future and what that looks like. I want to embrace the fact that I will never be washed, dressed and ready to leave the house before mid day for the foreseeable. I want to embrace the mum bun, the sofa snuggles, the piles of washing that can wait another day. I think the seasons changing will help those feelings of acceptance (and the excuse to wear a lot more baggy, cosy clothes!)

Sister Dates!

There’s nothing I love more than spending the day with my sister, having good food and a good natter. Throw that together with a trip to the Zoo and some photography and I pretty much had the most perfect day. It was nice getting out of the house without the buggy too. I could enjoy looking around tiny gift shops again and not worry about how to navigate tricky shop fixtures. Having a buggy has made me realise how inaccessible a lot of places are for those with recused mobility and how frustrating it can be when you want to look inside a store.

Getting Creative

In my quest to have more me time, I signed up for an art class which I now go to once a week. It’s only 3 hours a week, but it gives me so joy and peace. I forgot how much I loved to paint, and reflecting its something which I should have done more of during lock down. But i’m happy that i’m taking the time to do this now and I am really pleased with my first painting from the class.

Exploring with Evan

Last month I talked about my struggles with getting out the house with Evan. I would love to say that things have changed but honestly, it’s still a huge hurdle I am facing. I have such irrational fears which I know are ‘crazy’ but when you are home alone and no one to give you the push to leave the house, the safer and more comfortable option is to stay at home. I have been getting out more with David and my family, but I still spend most of the day having these irrational fears. I think with time this should change, but for now I am happy to push myself once a week to get out solo.

Brothers <3

I have loved watching Max interact with Evan this last few weeks. He is such a bonkers dog, but when Evan is around he really mellows out. I have also noticed Evan recognising his face now that his vision has gained strength. I can’t wait for the days when they are playing in the garden together and becoming the best of friends.

2 years married

August is always one of my favourite months as it is mine and David’s wedding anniversary. This year we celebrated with a meal out whilst my mum baby sat for us. It was funny how we were away but all we did was talk about Evan and the milestones he has achieved. At the weekend we also took our annual trip back to Tissington hall and took photos on the steps. I really hope we can keep this tradition up in years to come.

Brain Gremlins

The last week of August felt quite difficult. I was spending hours a day doom scrolling and could feel myself becoming more and more addicted to being on my phone. I love social media don’t get me wrong, but at the moment I feel so much resentment and jealousy when I go online and see people doing things that I can’t (or should I say could do, but am finding difficult) I know that its always someone else’s highlight reel, and they will also have their own struggles and issues, but when the brain gremlins creep in there’s no reasoning with that idea. I have decided to try a ‘no social September’ and only logging on the apps twice a day to check messages. This definitely won’t fix the feelings I have been facing, but at least I can start to identify what is actually bothering me and work through those things without the distraction or masking of issues with my phone.

So can I do it? Who knows! I’m sure when I am awake at 2am expressing with nothing else to do but scroll, I will find it hard. But I am going to try and find other things to occupy my time (and most importantly keep me awake) Any suggestions would be appreciated in the comments below. I hope you all have a lovely September, the start of cosy season is finally here and I am so ready to hermit on the sofa with lots of TV and hot drinks.