Slice Of My Life - September
A relaxed month with a few trips here and there, lots of time spent on the sofa and reflecting on the events of the year. September was well and truly my hermit month, but a month to appreciate the simple things.
Etsy Shop Launch
September was mostly spent working on sticker designs and planning what items I wanted to launch in my shop. I was very lucky and David brought me a Circuit machine! I was so excited and pleased that I now didn’t have to outsource my sticker manufacturing and I can make them in small quantities as I sell them. If you would like to see my new designs and refreshed shop, please click the link below:
https://thehyggehut.etsy.com
Evan Update
Evan has had a somewhat difficult month with teething creeping up on us and broken nights sleep. However, despite the teething, his little face still lights up with the most precious smile. I can’t help but feel so much joy when I see his cheeky laugh, even when I myself am having difficult days. It helps me stay grounded and realise no matter what struggles we are both facing there is always room for joy.
Days Out (without Evan!)
Early in the month I visited Nantwich with my sister and Mum. Nervous as I was to leave Evan, I knew it would benefit me in the long run. First off we headed to Marmalades, which was decorated with so many bits and bobs, almost like a museum. It made me want to embrace my inner hoarder and start showcasing my own items at home. We decided to start the day by treating ourselves to refreshing cocktails and then ventured into the lively food festival. As tempting as the vast selection of food options were, we opted for a simple pleasure: a cone of chips and can of coke. I enjoyed spending the day with my mum and Heidi, window shopping and enjoying some girl time chatting. It started to make me feel like I could really start enjoying days out again. It was a simple day, but made me feel so refreshed and recharged.
Simple Celebrations
September was also the month two of our friends Hanna and Scott got married. I of course had taken my camera with me, hoping to snap a few special moments, however I found myself becoming their impromptu wedding photographer! I loved being able to take their photographs in such a relaxed manner. Usually wedding photography has me stressed up to the eyeballs, but this happening so last minute and for two of my close friends made the whole thing almost relaxing. After the ceremony, a friend of theirs arranged a barbecue on the Sunday. It was nice to take some time as a family, me David and Evan, and let someone else do the cooking for once. I got to catch up with friends and I actually felt relaxed for the first time in months. I am starting to realise that the moments I am feeling refreshed, relaxed and recharged are those which are the most simple. I don’t need to plan some extravagant get away and spend lots of money to have a lovely day. And Hanna and Scott's wedding celebrations encompassed this notion perfectly.
Decorating
This month I decided to get stuck in decorating the hallway of our home. This is where Maisie’s ‘gym’ as I call it lives. I brought some decals from Amazon and painted the walls a light beige colour. Changing the colour from white to beige was such a simple change but really made the area feel more cosy. We also got carpets installed and I used the offcuts to cover the Ikea units to complete the look. Maisie is over the moon with her new space, and so am I! After 3 years in our home I really feel like we are starting to finally put our stamp on things.
Creative Time
I have continued attending my art course this month, along with trying out some new ideas for shop products. The three hours I spend in the painting class I can feel so recharged, although sometimes the lack of sleep does catch up with me and I spot myself drifting off mid class. I have started working on a Pokemon inspired painting, I am thinking of creating a collection of these style paintings, working from reference images I have taken in the game Pokemon Snap.
No Social September
As mentioned in last months post, I decided to take a step back from social media. I checked the apps twice a day for messages and notifications, and I found that was ‘triggering’ enough me. The first post that appeared on Facebook was always an argument, or something which ignited an emotional response from me. And it was always a negative emotion. I was doing so well with TikTok however it did lure me in and I spent one day late September scrolling for over an hour! I felt awful afterwards, numb, fed up and filled with self hatred and comparative thoughts. However, this hiccup proved a point to myself, at just how much I let these apps influence how I feel. I wrote the rest of that day off and ended up slobbed on the sofa feeling sorry for myself and ate crappy food. However I made it to the end on the month (minus the hiccup day) and I really started to feel a change, and not one that you would expect...
Initially, I decided to step back from social media to pinpoint the cause of my ongoing feelings of ‘fed up’ and ‘who even am I anymore?!’ Without the constant influx of carefully curated posts, I at first began to appreciate and accept myself more. I was going out for walks, making the most of my spare time and overall feeling really good about myself.
However, I then started to do some self reflection and really start digging deep on why I was feeling the way I was. I attended a Red Tent meeting with Gabriella Yoga, and during the final meditation I felt like I opened a trap door and an influx of negative thoughts that I had been suppressing came flooding out. Being away from social media had provided me with the space and clarity to start delving into my emotions and reflecting on how I truly feel, and I didn’t like what I found.
I have had some really hard days, ones where I have journaled pages and pages, some where I have cried even more than Evan! I have analysed things like my hobbies, wardrobe, appearance and felt lost with who I am anymore. I know these feelings are very normal postpartum, but finding contentment in myself feels like an impossible task.
Although I still haven't uncovered the exact source of my unhappiness, (or who I even am anymore) without the constant distraction of social media, I am confident that I can continue with clarity on this journey of self-discovery and most importantly healing.