Slice Of My Life - July
A month of celebrations (which of course means lots of cake!) July went by in the blink of an eye and I can’t believe Evan is now two months old.
Happy Birthday To Me!
My first birthday as a mum. However as lovely as it was, my birthdays have definitely changed now. My morning was amazing, opening presents and spending time with David and Evan, but an hour later I was back sterilising bottles, expressing and doing laundry. And the day continued in this way with more bottles, changing and waiting for any spare minute to go the bathroom. A day (or sometimes birthday week) where I would usually put myself first has now changed into a short hour, and it felt like my birthday just passed me by.
Im finding this part of motherhood quite difficult.
I also took the opportunity to get out and about and go for some meals, but my clothes and body just don’t look the same anymore. I know my body is still recovering but I am finding it hard to look in the mirror and also see photos of myself. Everything has changed and it truly feels like my world has been flipped upside down, round in a washing machine, with all the postpartum hormones thrown into the mix. Dealing with all these difficult and sometimes negative emotions, all whilst having the immense feelings of joy of from having Evan in my life. I wake up some mornings and I don’t even know how I am feeling!
Lots of Cafe Dates
One of my favourite cafes, Wild and Wild, has now closed, but luckily we managed to get the chance to go for lunch beforehand. I am glad I got to take Evan here. Although this was actually his second trip here in theory, as I celebrated my baby shower at Wild and Wild earlier in the year. Thanks to my friend Tash for the voucher for my birthday too!
Barbie Movie
There are no words! This film was amazing, and I think I could write a whole blog post about the feelings and emotions that come up after watching this film. I think now as a mother a lot of the themes in the film resonated with me even more than I expected for a film about Barbie. As I mentioned earlier in the post, I am struggling with self image and along with that has come a lack of self identity and sense of self. So (if you’ve watched the film) you can see why parts of this film really got me emotional and put my feelings into word perfectly.
My Dad’s Birthday
Every year we celebrate my Dad’s birthday by going to Westport Lake. We would go there as a family when I was younger and enjoy a KFC by the lake. It was so lovely to take Evan here and I can’t wait to carry the tradition on and let him enjoy his first KFC this time next year!
Getting Out And About
I really underestimated how hard it would be to be comfortable getting out and about with Evan. I didn’t think I would have any issues, and imagined myself pushing the buggy around shopping, spending my maternity leave going for walks and cafe dates. But the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Going out of the house has become such a huge ordeal and instils so much fear and anxiety in me. I manage our weekly food shop and the odd trip to Costa, but I have now got to the point where I would much rather avoid going out on my own with him and stay at home instead. Im sure these fears will ease soon, but for now we have become two little hermit crabs who sit and watch Bluey and YouTube all day.
I am so happy that me and my friend Laura managed to get tickets for Taylor next year. (thank you Laura for getting the tickets!) I have already started planning my outfits on Pinterest and kind of wish I was going 4/5 times with the amount of outfits I have been planning. I can’t wait for a girls weekend to Edinburgh, even if I have got to wait until June 2024.
Finding Joy In The Little Things
Evan is bringing so much joy into my life, just with the most simple things like smiling and laughing. Life has completely changed pace and I am trying to learn to find joy in the simple day to day things. It’s been hard to adjust to my days being filled with pretty transactional repetitive things, but finding joy in the little moments has really helped me keep a positive mindset throughout the day. There are no words to describe how happy it makes me when Evan smiles at me from across the room, or after he wakes up from a nap. I can’t wait for him to start talking, but at the same time want to stay in this baby bubble forever <3