Slice Of My Life - January 24
New Year New Me? Or new year same old me in the midst of a midlife crisis?
Bringing in the new year
I usually love new years, planning my resolutions and ready to start a fresh. Leave the old chapter behind and welcome the new year with open arms. But this year felt very different. I think it may be because I have so much unresolved from 2023 and I can’t truly feel like letting it go until I work through past events and how they have effected me. In the first week of the year I had that ground breaking moment when I knew things need to change. PPD is no joke, and when you have also been dealing with these emotions during 9 months of pregnancy it feels like you may never feel ‘normal’ again. Combine this with a lack of self identity, the realisation that your maternity leave is due to end soon, being overworked and over tired…. You get the idea, it’s no wonder I am feeling this way. It’s time to do the work, face the past, heal the trauma and look forward to brighter days.
Focusing on time for myself
My weekly art class is something I am so glad I have taken up in 2023. Just having 2 and a half hours to myself, out of the house, focusing on something creative is really helping my wellbeing. However some weeks I can feel like a complete failure, I can hate the painting I have done and have a mini crisis in the space of an hour. But it’s usually a reflection of how I have been feeling that week. Most weeks the class is the only time I am away from the home and Evan, so no wonder all the emotions come tumbling down when I enter the art studio. It really highlights to me now in this new year I need to focus on making time for myself.
Taking it day by day
January comes with so much pressure to start a fresh and go full steam ahead with about 10 different resolutions. Whilst in the depths of winter this feels so unnatural and I am called to hermit instead. I have been researching the wheel of life and how this can influence how I feel and what I should be focusing on each month. I decided to take a pause on any resolutions and just take each day as it comes, being kind to myself. Life is feeling very tough right now and I am not feeling that spark I usually feel at the start of the year. Getting out in nature or having a coffee date is what was feeling me and bringing me joy this month, theres something about being all bundled up and the sounds of a coffee shop which bring comfort to me.
Bye bye balls!
Max unfortunately was getting some bad behaviours over the last few months, which meant we had to make the decision to have him castrated. As you can see from the photos, he was over the moon about this! I am hoping this will help calm him behaviour a bit and he can start to enjoy going out with the dog walker again.
Mum life updates
Evan had just turned 8 months and I have seen the most changes in him this last few weeks. He has out grown his smaller cot, note: which is supposed to have lasted him till 9-12 months. (Also, don’t worry, we aren’t hyper paranoid about mosquitoes, the net on his cot pops up and helps avoid Maisie snuggling up to him.)
I felt a lot of pressure for him to move into his own room, but I knew I wasn’t ready for this change so we will just take things at our own pace. He has also started a play group class and will be starting nursery in February too. So much is changing and I can’t believe my maternity leave will be coming to an end next month.
I am an auntie!
January brought the arrival of my niece, Ellie Thea. She is the most precious little Ellie Bean and I can’t wait to watch her grow up along side Evan and see all the adventures they get up to.