Slice Of My Life - April 24
A rollercoaster of a month, highs and lows, life turning one way and another. Most days I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, and at the end of the day I lay in bed and didn’t know how I had made it through. A great month to reflect and learn from, promoting me to focus on the present moment and not past bad experiences.
Me Time
One thing I struggle with month on month is making time for myself. But most importantly not feeling guilty afterwards. I have put aside two Saturdays a month to spend on something I want to do. Whether that’s going for lunch with a friend, going to do a creative activity or simply a walk and natter. It sometimes feels forced to have to plan these things so far in advance, but I know I wouldn’t keep myself accountable otherwise.
Evan’s First Theme Park
We headed to Alton Towers with my friend Tash and god daughter Lily. We had such an amazing day going on all the rides in CBeebies land and even managed to make a stop for unlimited pizza. My perfect day! I loved watching Evan take in all the new scenes and experiences. He has changed so much over this last month and it’s comical to see his faces change when he sees things he likes and doesn’t. We have now become firm fans of Hey Dougie and In The Night Garden, which does make a nice change from Bluey.
‘I’m so depressed I act like its my birthday’
I spent a few hours one afternoon taking some Taylor inspired photos. It was something that ‘old Abbie’ did all the time. Coming up with a moodboard, colour and editing ideas, setting up the shots and choosing the outfits. I was doing my hair and makeup for a video I was filming anyway so thought why not take that opportunity (and the fact Evan was down for a long nap) to take some photos. It was nice to finally do some things that old me enjoyed.
The best of friends
Now Evan is a bit more aware of the world around him I have been able to let Max and him play together. It’s been adorable watching them interact and Evan’s giggle whenever Max does something silly. I can really see them becoming the best of friends over the years and can’t wait for our afternoons in the garden when it’s all been done up.
Acceptance, Presence, Joy
My ‘words of the year’ this year have been acceptance, presence and joy. Trying to look at the year as a wheel, a constant flow of accepting something that may have happened, working through it to become more present and not bogged down by it. Finally, choosing joy as often as I can. I have quickly realised that being happy and making joyful memories is a choice and a good day won’t just plonk its self on my lap. This month I made huge progress in the acceptance part of my post partum journey, filming a video about my experience with mental health whilst pregnant. It has helped me to become more present and let some of those resentful feelings go. This Saturday pictured was one of the Saturday’s I had planned in advance, a intentional choice of joy.
Making reasons to celebrate
Carrying on from the thoughts above, making up an excuse to celebrate has been a key practice in making joy happen. My niece Ellie turned 100 days old, so I used it as an excuse to get some pizza and cake, set up some decorations and dust of the Cricut to make some banners. It was only a few hours of work and execution but it really brought a smile to my face and make memories for Ellie, my sister and mum.
IG vs Reality
I look at these photos from a few weeks ago and I can’t help but laugh. The fact that they couldn’t be further from reality! Let’s just say pottery painting isn’t for a 11 month old toddler. We brought the babies so we could do some hand prints, but that soon ended up in a melt down, stropping, tears… and that was just me! haha. We did manage to have a somewhat nice afternoon, but it was very hectic and my designs ended up being a lot simpler than I had planned. I think this activity may have to go on my list of ‘Saturdays alone’.
New Shoes!
I don’t think I was emotionally prepared for the day Evan got his first shoes. We headed to the Trafford centre as I was adamant I wanted his first shoes to be from clarks. He was so well behaved and loved watching as the staff member measured his feet and brought out some options. I feel like he is a real tiny human now rather than a baby, and the transition has hit my like a ton of bricks. He’s babbling, his clothes are now 18-24 months, he has shoes! I’m already thinking ahead to when he starts school and high school… okay. Breathe!
Thank you April, you have been a learning curve. You taught me that sometimes things really do go tits up, plans have to be changed and just when you think everything is going well your whole family will get the flu. But just like the wheel of the year, each day and week is an opportunity to keep rolling on forward and leaving the past behind. Knowing we have to appreciate the joyful present moments as we never know what is about to come.